Cody, the KILLER!!!

Look at the cute doggie on the left here! His name is Cody. I believe it will be one year this week that we picked him up from the doggie rescue in DC. (Picking anyone up and getting them out of DC is a rescue any day in my book, but that's another blog post) He is originally from North Carolina, and I think it's in his blood to be a bit of a red neck. If Cody were a human, I think he'd own a rifle. When we first found out about Cody, we were actually calling about his sister. The people at the shelter told us she was taken, but they said he has a brother. So I made an appointment to see Cody at the foster home. When I first saw him, he was really skinny, and somewhat frail. Scared? Well, I guess depressed is what I can say. Look at the picture to the right. This is the week we picked up Cody. We were at the playground, and even though Alex is kind of hugging Cody, the somber demeanor of the moment was his general demeanor for the first few months. (Look how bright blue his collar is; not these days!) So as the months went by, we made friends with Cody, fattened him up a bit (can't see his ribs now!) And we have taken him to the beach and let him run. Sad thing is from May thru September, no dogs allowed on the beach/boardwalk in Ocean City. But throughout the summer we would go to all sorts of rural parks in Frederick County. And we would let him run loose to get his jollies as all good dogs should. And every night I take him to the local park, which is kind of a clandestine dog park. If there are no kids or events happening, quite often people bring their dogs by and let them run loose. And the cops drive right by and don't say anything. So when I take him for a walk, we go about a quarter mile from the main road, and I let him run through a stand of trees to chase rabbits and squirrels. Because, hey, he is a dog and that is what he does!

Look to the left. They look cute, don't they? But they are not. In the tree-lined neighborhoods of Montgomery County, there are a million of them. Really, I counted. One Million Squirrels. And .1% live above and around my house. Whenever I take Cody for a walk, he always gets his ears up, and tugs at the leash, trying to go after the squirrels. And from time to time, I decide not to be a slug, and I will actually run with him to "get" the squirrels. But in all this time we've had Cody, whether we have let him loose, or he's been on the leash, he has never caught a squirrel. I believed he was into it just for the sport of it. So yesterday, the whole family was saddling up to go for a walk to the park. I came outside and saw these 2 squirrels fighting around the neighbor's oak tree, both of them looking fat from acorns (we've got a million of those in our yard...from the neighbor's tree!) As I walked around the side of the house to get Cody, I muttered under my breath, a comment directed at the squirrels. I absentmindedly said, "Frickin' squirrels, you better GTF out before I bring my dog and he tears you apart." I mean, it was me living the comedy life in my mind. And at that A) I would never let Cody off the leash this close to the road B) If I ran with Cody at the squirrels, he could only go as fast as me, and I know I am not fast enough to catch a squirrel. So I get Cody out of the backyard, onto the retractable leash, and I walk toward the sidewalk to begin towards the park. But lo, and behold, the 2 squirrels are sitting on the sidewalk by the neighbor's house. Cody's ears are up to the sky, the hair on his back was standing up. But the 2 squirrels just sat there, oblivious to the human and the dog, the true masters of the urban jungle. So in order to let Cody calm down before we began the walk in earnest, I thought we'd bull-rush the squirrels, and they'd take the hint and take off, and that would be the end of it. Now remember, I was never a fast runner, so I'm thinking this will amount to nothing. We move forward, and Cody immediately takes the cue. And the 2 squirrels just sit there like 2 dumbasses. Next thing you know, CODY HAS ONE IN HIS F***ING MOUTH!!! All I can think is OMFG!

I am in a panic. This went from a few seconds of sport, to an actual tangle of fur flying at the end of the leash I am holding. Cody has the thing by the back thigh, and he is shaking his head left to right and the squirrel is writhing around! Anyone who knows me, knows that about a month ago I was bitten by a dog and the lady and the dog took off from the scene. And so now I am gun shy with just the thought of rabies. I can NOT believe this squirrel didn't get away, and I am starting to think maybe he is sick i.e. rabid.

At that moment he breaks Cody's grip and can now get away. Then some more thoughts run through my head:
Q: What happens if he bites Cody? A: Cody has his shots for Rabies.
Q: What happens if the squirrel is on the loose? A: There is now a rabid squirrel on the loose.

Conclusion: There must be something wrong with this animal.

Mind you all of this is happening in a 2 or 3 second period. If I did nothing, Cody would have regrouped and gone after the squirrel. The burden was on me to pull Cody away, and get him away from the squirrel. But I am now panicked and don't want to "turn my back on the threat". I mean, I pictured this squirrel now going beserk in its own right, and getting all pissed off, and transforming into a bigger, muscle bound squirrel with a green hue out looking for vengeance. I mean, that is what rabid animals do, don't they?

Before I could think twice, it was like Cody and I were of the same mind. He wanted that squirrel, and by God, I'd let him finish what he started. From what I could see of the squirrel at this point, part of his tail was taken off, and he appeared to be really gorged from acorns (one would presume). So Cody zeros in, and clamps right down on this fat-ass squirrel. I mean, his grip is perfect. He then starts to shake the squirrel back and forth in his mouth in earnest. At this point the adrenaline dies down a bit, and I am no longer in "the silence" that occurs as a result of an adrenaline rush. I hear my wife screaming, "Oh my GOD! Does Cody have a SQUIRREL?"

Let us pause here for a Garrison Keillor moment. Slowly read this in a languid manner, much like everyone's favorite companion on the Home Prairie. Because a moment of awareness was then upon me. In the world inside my mind, I had just experienced a veritable spasm of neurons. Neurons firing, firing, firing...and decisions that had to be made. Arguably life and death decisions. This squirrel could have been a carrier of one of the most terrible animal borne diseases after bubonic plague. This is the frame of mind I had been in. But, as I saw my wife standing there, her face aghast, it was like waking from a dream. And there too, were my children, the children I wanted to shield from this diseased, and now deranged squirrel. Then I turned back to my loyal companion, my golden retriever, yellow lab, German shepherd mix. And there he was, his jaws clamped down around the squirrel, shaking his head back and forth.

Those of you who have children, you perhaps can think back to a moment that brought your parenthood into bright uplands. I recall a story where a friend of mine took her 6 year old son to the woods with his new bicycle, and he spent a good hour riding up and down a series of little hills in these woods. Hills much like a bike motocross track. And from what this mother told me, he was quite good at it. When they got done, the boy walked up to his mother and said, "Mommy, I love Jesus first, but I love you the most for taking me here." I forgot about that story for years, until I pictured Cody in my head, with the squirrel in his mouth, shaking it back and forth. And then the moment when, with squirrel in mouth, he looked me right in the eye. Because at that moment, I believe he did love Jesus first, but he loved me the most for allowing him to shake living shit out of one of those pesky neighborhood squirrels. And for that, I loved him.

(Garrison Keillor mode: "off")

Cody dropped the squirrel as we began our walk. And the squirrel was just lying there. My wife suggested that at some point, I put it out of its misery. I said I would get the BB gun and do so if he was there when we got back. Surprisingly, when we got back he was gone. I think he was just stunned and gathered his wits, and ran away. But another part of me thinks, much like the Viet Cong, his buddies came and dragged his body away. Dragged it into one of the nearby tunnel entrances, just so we wouldn't be able to know one way or the other the fate of the deranged fat-ass squirrel.